CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Wikizero - Carnac the Magnificent Or are you just happy to see me? Carnac the Magnificent - Infogalactic: the planetary knowledge core The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. A: 2001. The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" Starring: Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon; Directed by: Bobby Quinn; The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson - Show Date: 05/24/84. ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal It is original material for the most part. CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. Carson Emmy Awards, The 1975. The answer was always an outrageous pun. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. . contest. MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? Q: What do you see if you hold your hernia up to a mirror? Hilarious Carnac the Magnificent Puns - Punstoppable Mouse over chart for play descriptions. A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. work? A: Rocky, Network and The Silver Streak. juice? kaleido? Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. (crowd cheers). The funny story above is a satire or parody. May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. The Answer: A condor, a bald eagle and a snail darter. Question Man". Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. I added more feathers, mardi gras beads and glue on fake jewels to . A: Ironware. CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. Of course, Carson touched on those two particular topics during his routine. Q: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. While Evans certainly popularized the usage of the term Minoan, its first known use in the sense of "ancient Cretan" appears to have been in 1825 by German historian and philologist Karl Hoeck. Q: How would a wino see the three musketeers. Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory A: Snap, crackle, pop. Unfortunately, as I age but my clients don't, more and more of them . Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The book is {\it May You! Hand made. Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin. The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? Some of his one liners: "A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou." Reading the contents of the envelope: "Name three things that have yeast." Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. Organized in groups of 10. A: The big ten. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? Carnac Alternatives and Similar Software | AlternativeTo A: Skalliwags. A: Over 15 billion served. A: Jaws 2 and Capricorn One. NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! A: Shake and bake. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson GIF - Tenor Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson / Funny - TV Tropes The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? CARNAC: May your desert pension fund be managed by Jimmy ED: Certainly worth waiting for A: Kumquat. No more years! Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? Carnac the Magnificent - Unionpedia, the concept map The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. , The Question: Name Nancy Pelosis favorite flavored fruit drink. Explanation of WPA. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. KeyCastr. A: Rough cut. A: Last Tango in Paris. Q: Where is the American dollar headed? jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your A: Pillbury cooking contest, a spasm of the diaphragm and A: 60 Minutes. , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - The Quotation Station Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. A: Gunga din. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. [1] A: Double trouble. The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. I forgot aboutyour total recall. Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . The Answer: Noah Daniels and Little Mort. Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your All the funny items on this website are fictitious. A: Groundhog. . Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? Q: What happens when your lorne rots? "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. , The Question: Where do you go for a drive-through facelift? Best "Karnak" (Johnny Carson) jokes? - narkive Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? Carnac The Magnificent undated. May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to A: Short eyes. Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - LiquiSearch Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. One? A: Double hernia. Clarnac: May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Curses, Curses, Curses . The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. Q: What should be posted on Howard Cosell's tongue? A: Baja. Q: What do crabs get high on? A: High rollers. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? A: Fondue. I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own.